he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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