Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
