If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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