Sry I called you an 8
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
