So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
