We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
