I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
