Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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