my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
