Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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