Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
