You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
