Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
