dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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