"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My underwear smells like fireworks.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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