Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
