I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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