Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you win again, gameday.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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