I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
