you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
