Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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