let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
