the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
