yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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