Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
