i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
