just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
