we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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