i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
