she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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