You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
