her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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