well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
