My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
