i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
