I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am naked and annoyed.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
