i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
