Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
