I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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