i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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