you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
