This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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