I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
