You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Small penises have feelings too.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
