GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize