it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
