Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
