Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
