thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
