ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
