Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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