what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
