Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
