i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
