I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Screwed.edu
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I need a beard to bite.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
