I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
