It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize