Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
