school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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