I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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