they said they heard you say put it in my butt
no you cant smoke seaweed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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