How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Drunk is not a location!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize