Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
